In just a few days, one of the most fascinating and weirdest shows on television will begin its final season. In 2004, when commercials started to air for a little show about a group of plane crash survivors, called LOST, I was ready to pass it on. At that point I already had a lot of shows that I regularly watched and didn’t want to add to the mix. It was a bit like having one too many games running on Facebook. “Let’s see. I already have a mafia, two farms, and a restaurant. Do I really want to start a fish tank?” But, I was willing to give it a shot for the sake of argument. After all, I had started watching Alias from the pilot, caught three weeks worth of episodes, missed two and was then lost, for lack of a better term.


With the opening shot of an eyeball pulling back to reveal Matthew Fox laying in a jungle the little series became a mammoth of mysteries and unanswered questions that probably made a lot of fans retake calculus or at least attempt quantum physics just to keep up with the show’s scientific mythology…yes that sounds like a contradiction in terms, but it makes sense.


First there was the ridiculously ominous and creepy cool monster in the jungle that swayed the trees like King Kong on Skull Island. Then there was the flashbacks, the polar bears on a tropical island, the radio message, the numbers, the whispers, Adam and Eve, The Others, the weird French lady, the hatch(es), the Dharma ranch, the button, the smoke monster, The Dharma initiative, the raft, the submarine, The Black Rock, bits of Arzt, a four toed statue, the fail safe, the naked Desmond, Paulo and Nikki, Not Penny’s Boat, Geronimo Jackson, the freighter, the flash forwards, the frozen donkey wheel, time travelling, the whole statue, the temple, the Jughead, Jacob, Un-Locke, and a hell of a lot of questions that need answering.


The POD sites went absolutely nuts for fan made gear for the show and finally, CafePress decided to create a portal for LOST gear on their site. If only we could spin the donkey wheel and go back to 2004 and do that. But, alas, we cannot. Yet, I will offer up my items inspired by LOST.

Once again, reality or amateur competition shows inspire t-shirt greatness. This year’s William Hung blazed a path across the audition stage of American Idol with an original song that has become an anthem for NFL playoffs and late night talk shows.

‘General’ Larry Platt, a 62 year old activist appeared and performed his original song, “Pants on the Ground” in Atlanta. However, due to the age limit of the show being 28, Platt was ineligible to be passed onto the next round. Yet, his age and performance did make him eligible to be captured for posterity and a high share for viewing as his audition became a viral hit. It also made Platt a star as he was brought onto The View and allowed to do the song in its entirety. In addition, Brett Favre led his Viking team in a rousing chorus of “Pants on the Ground” after defeating the Dallas Cowboys in order to advance to the NFC Championship. Late Night With Jimmy Fallon also featured Pants on the Ground with Fallon performing it as if he were Neil Young, complete with clothing, instruments and voice.


While the media blitz over Larry Platt is amusing and I admit it, hysterical, it raises a question of show ethics, of which I ‘m sure American Idol has none. If Larry Platt was ineligible to compete, why let him audition? Because everyone knows that the train wreck that is auditions sucks people into the show. Regardless of actual rules, anything that will get people to watch the show is considered fair game. It’s been a week since the Atlanta auditions that gained a 23 share from viewers, according to Nielsen ratings. How much of one do you think the Chicago auditions will earn tonight?  Check back to see the answer, Now, for those of you who really care about these things, you’re not watching American Idol anyway.

In any case, I’m just here to sell shirts. And that’s why I’ve brought to you “Pants on the Ground."

The design was inspired by Larry Platt’s audition but the title of the song sounds like an action film to me. It reminds me of Snakes on a Plane.  Maybe we can get Samuel L. Jackson to portray 'General' Larry Platt on his one man crusade to get these punks to pull up their pants. I can just see it now. “Enough is ENOUGH! I have had it with these mother f**kin' pants on the mother f**kin' ground!”

CafePress has carved out a section on their site in order to help with relief efforts for Haiti after the devastating earthquake on Tuesday. Proceeds from sales of the specified items are being donated to the relief effort via the U.S. Fund for UNICEF. Follow the link I provided to see the selection.

Usually, when designers post products for sale on CafePress they (designers) receive 10% of the sale as profit in the marketplace. In the designer’s own shop they can set their own prices for products which consists of base price plus markup.

In this case the money is going to UNICEF. However, be aware that if you buy a $42 sweatshirt because you want to send that amount to UNICEF, not all $42 is going to UNICEF. According to CP’s fine print “Proceeds means the total retail price paid by the consumer minus the cost to manufacture the product. All profits from the sale of products through the Haiti Relief Effort shop will be donated to the U.S. Fund for UNICEF.”

Just putting all the information out there. I missed the cutoff to post a design but donated via the Red Cross text message method which is texting “HAITI” to 90999. That gets all $10 of your donation being put towards the effort.

Reality shows are nothing if not responsible for the dumbing down of television audiences. So, of course this show that glorifies tanning and being a d-bag is going to be popular. Long ago, MTV used to play music videos, but those days are gone and now we are reduced to watching a bunch of twenty somethings pretend they are all that while taking the Italian-American stereotype to the to the extreme.

Since Jersey Shore has aired it's drawn criticism from ethnic groups over the blatant imaging of Italian flags and themes as well as the behavior of the cast themselves. Another notable incident was the "Snooki Sock" which occurred at a bar. One of the cast mates, Snooki, who loves to tan so much she would change the world by installing a tanning bed in every household, was involved in an altercation where she was punched in the face by a teacher. The incident was caught on camera and set off a firestorm. MTV decided not to air the footage but it didn't matter. They came out smelling like a rose by taking the moral high ground over glorifying violence and by letting all the news outlets and other bottom feeders put the "Snooki Sock" all over television for them. They get all the ratings either way but none of the guilt.

Then, of course, there is The Situation, or Michael as he's known to other people who don't give a crap how muscular he is and sees him for the tool that he is. Oh, I know, he's got a sensitive side that wants to settle down. Don't we all when prodded by cameramen and producers who want to give a second dimension to this one dimensional character.

So, I give you three designs to indulge your Jersey Shore fanaticism. These are not intended to comment on Italian Americans as a group, but as a comment on the ridiculousness of the people on this show that brand themselves with these terms.