The Dumb State: An Opinion on the New York Times Op-Ed

Posted by Mongo


You are not a resistor.  You are a capacitor. Blocking the unwanted signals while letting other, wanted signals through.

The New York Times Op-ed is just that.  It’s an opinion. 

You think you’re saving the country by telling us all that you’re working to undermine Trump’s most base desires to start a nuclear war over tariffs or throw himself a parade with him wearing some medal laden jacket as if he were Sheriff Clarke vying for employee of the month at a TGIFridays.  But you’re not helping. If anything, you’ve blown your cover because now they’ll be on to you.  It was fun while it lasted but you have played your only good card and it’s still the first deal.  Guys, Guys… All red!

Back in 7th grade track, I was a portly little fellow who threw shot put and discus.  And even though I was not a runner, we still had to participate in some events… they called it a hog race.  And in this particular race, four of us from the more hefty group of athletes had to run a mile relay race.  Unfortunately, I did not understand what distance I was running so I took off like a shot, good at sprinting over short distances.  I left all competitors in the dust. And halfway around the track, thinking I was truly some kind of Prefontaine God, I didn’t notice that there wasn’t anyone to pass the baton over to.  No one.  I stood alone on the track as other runners passed me, and now, out of breath, I had to dig in deep and pull myself out of my asthmatic funk and complete the quarter mile leg of this race.

We lost.

I didn’t understand the strategy. I didn’t think far enough ahead.  I just went balls to the wall, guns out, napalm the Earth crazy and I sat there like the Coyote, on his rocket, in the air, dropping like a stone into a tiny puff on the ground miles below.

That is you.  And I say that thinking that perhaps you are truly what you say you are, a resistor.  Someone who is trying to protect the country by stopping Trump from executing every little whim he has.

But, quite frankly, I don’t think you are part of any Deep State resistance.  I think you’re a pawn, or a well-placed plant.  Because if you aren’t, you certainly blew your load on a missed opportunity.

If you are patriotic, you would have resigned in protest and went public. But we know, just like every other sycophant in this administration, you probably signed some non-disclosure agreement that prevents you from going public.  You probably think it was in your own best financial interest to stay anonymous.  If so, you’re an opportunistic asshole who wants to take credit for being selfless, all while counting the Benjamins in private.  You’re Dustin Hoffman in Hero.  You went onto a burning plane to steal from the passengers, but reluctantly saved a few in the process. 

If you signed on early, because you thought Trump was going to somehow magically pivot into being a regular President, yet still bringing that outside non-swampiness business acumen to the job, you obviously did not pay any attention to the campaign.  Trump was never going to pivot.  He was never going to be Presidential. It’s not why he was elected.  He was elected to do all the things you are trying to prevent him from doing.  In that case, you’re failing.  I believe you signed on to some shooting star, bull in a china shop, cutout for the real conservative agenda.  You knew that no other candidate, including those who had the actual credibility and experience could beat Hillary Clinton.  

Maybe you didn’t know about Russia.  Maybe you did.  Maybe this was all manipulated from someone in the Deeper of States and Putin was just an outsourced solutions provider, contracted via the Mercers to give you a flashy turnkey website to sell your agenda. And that agenda was stack the lower courts to remove checks against corruption.  Stack the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade and subvert choice. Enact a Nationalist Agenda to “purify” America of non-whites.  Revoke ecological and financial regulations in order to increase profits for the top 1% of earners in banking and industry.  Except the website had bugs in it.  Little flaws like unhinged paranoia and mental instability that threaten your project.  So, you run around like a little Dutch boy, sticking your finger in whatever dike springs a leak today.  If so, that must be exhausting.  And if that is the case, then I wonder who your audience truly was, the true resistance, who see this Presidency as the single biggest threat to our democracy and our lives or the financial backers who think your plan is failing and wonder if maybe they should pull their investment and go somewhere else.

And if all this is a ruse to distract, we aren’t buying it. If you are floating this idea that you are some port in the storm, keeping the wolves at bay, and silently resisting by hiding the remote control from Trump, just to keep us from talking about the real problems, then it won’t work.  If the mental instability is all you are touting, not the election being hacked, the Russians being responsible, or Mueller bearing down on the criminality of this sham of an administration, we don’t care.  The acuity is the easiest charge to defend because we have no way of really checking.  And the 25th amendment needs more than just one supporter who obviously is still enabling someone because they’re benefiting from the things that fit their narrative.  They’re hindering Democracy and forcing an already panicked paranoid egomaniac to go even farther off the rails.  And maybe that’s your plan, because you know the true conservative, who will be welcomed by the religious right and fiscally conscious, sits in the wings waiting to be elevated.  And just know that person is even more dangerous, because he is mentally sound and believes all he does is because of a higher calling.  And he’s just as guilty of the crimes you’re sweeping under the rug to play, “Uh oh, Grandpa’s off his meds and yelling at the Hispanic kid to get off his lawn.”

In any case, you are no Patriot and you are not helping.  You are tiny and selfish. Whatever your reasons are, they are not altruistic and you played your only good card.  You need to get out and talk to the Special Counsel.  You need protection.  You don’t get preferential treatment for keeping the zombies in the barn, just because you think you can manage the problem.  You are going to be caught.  If anyone at the New York Times knows your true identity, you can bet they will sell it out.  You have no friends in this White House.  No one is going to “jump into the pit” with you.  It’s Lord of the Flies and anyone who could gain something from throwing you under the bus will do so for a chance to not be the next one sent home from the boardroom.  Why?  Because Trump didn’t hire the best, he hired those with something to gain and everything to lose.  You may have started the fire but you’re still in the house.  They won’t save a burning man, they’ll just take the stolen wallets from your possession.

15 Star Wars Themed Shirts That We Have a Good Feeling About

Posted by Mongo

   For 41 years, Star Wars has been a shrine to nerdom.  With the original trilogy, the oft derided prequel trilogy, and the new trilogy set to be tentatively released for Christmas 2019, there is plenty of material to geek out over.  That doesn't even include the spin off "A Star Wars Story" movies and cartoons over the past few years.  Still through all that, I am a child of the originals at heart but have enjoyed sharing the newest movies with my daughter. 

   So, here, is an aggregation of some of the coolest designs I could find out there.  Some, of course, are mine, but mostly, other independent artists have created these awesome designs.  You can find these and more listed on my AngryMongo Star Wars Store at TeePublic.

1. Hans by Warbucks360
A play on the popular skateboarding shoe brand, Vans, this one from Warbucks 360 is perfect for when you make the Kessel Run or just do a sick Ollie.



The old ways are the best ways and 80sTees provides licensed apparel that takes you back to the original look and feel of the artwork for the first movie. I had bed sheets in this art style, when I was a kid...

And in college...

              


This is one of my own, hipster style logos for Rogue Squadron's search team out of Echo Base.  Based on the Planet Hoth from The Empire Strikes Back.



Based on the song Rebel Rebel, by the late David Bowie, this one features A New Hope era Princess Leia with the Ziggy Stardust lightning bolt makeup.




You may be too young to know good music, but this one is parody of the eponymous album from Led Zeppelin but with a Star Destroyer.  Get it...




Solo: A Star Wars Story is set to be released this year and it could be a huge hit or miss depending on how well it tells the backstory of everyone's favorite stuck up scruffy looking nerf herder.  But never tell him the odds of how well it will do.  This one has a classic rock feel and look with a classic line from the old smuggler.

One of the best subplots to Empire Strikes Back was the introduction of Boba Fett as canon as well as the rest of the Bounty Hunters who even got their own novels in the EU.  Is it sad that I can name every one of their scum from memory?  4-LOM, IG-88, Bossk, Boba Fett, Dengar, and Zuckuss...


             

I love everything about this design; the simple clean look, the colors, the minimalism, the angles.  Simple and perfect.


9. Rebel by djkopet
Based on the movie drive, this mashup depicts Han Solo walking towards the Millennium Falcon with Mos Eisley in the distance.


A retro looking ad for Tosche Station. It's based on that throwaway line where Luke whined about needing to go there to get power converters instead of doing his chores.


11. Visit Tatooine bye Rene Flores at FloresArt
Vintage look in the style of the Southwest US, perhaps Arizona or Southern California circa 1968-1976 era.  It's simple and has that Space Craze feel from the 70s.
 
 12. Kessel Run Sticker by AngryMongo
OK, it's not a shirt, but it can be.  It just happens to work better as a sticker on the back bumper of your Millennium Falcon, or Dad mobile.  The popular marathon 26.2 or 13.1 stickers mashed up with the less than 12 parsecs line from Han Solo in A New Hope.
13. A Hero Self Portrait by UrsulaLopez
Technically, you could say this is more of a tribute Harrison Ford than Han Solo, but it still features Han, creating a self portrait of him as Deckard from Blade Runner, while seeing Indiana Jones in the mirror in a nod to the famous Norman Rockwell's Triple Self-Portrait painting.

Parody of Blue Moon Brewery with the classic line from A New Hope. Because it's too big to be a space station?

Borrowing a plot point from Rogue One, this last one posits that there are some kick ass waves to be had... at least at one time, on the planet Scarif thanks to the Death Star.  Also comes in an alternate Orangish/Red color scheme as well.


11 Stranger Things Shirts That Will Flip You Upside Down

Posted by Mongo

   Stranger Things is a bonafide phenomenon. Who knew that a web based television series aired over Netflix could capture the world?

   Borrowing heavily from the 80s masters of horror and sci-fi, like Dean Koontz, Stephen Spielberg, James Cameron, and Steven King, the series about a small town in Indiana and its residents delves greatly into pop culture, music, and themes that us Gen X'ers grew up with.

   And now, you can sport your own tees inspired by the hit show with these eleven awesome designs. Feel free to check them out and see more at the AngryMongo Merch Store at TeePublic.

This throwback design features the hungry Demogorgon mashed up with the old school Adidas logo.

2. Palace Arcade (replica) by AngyMongo
One of the new locations in Season 2 was the Palace Arcade which involved a subplot concerning the hi score on Dig Dug.
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/2007766-palace-arcade?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944

What happens when you mix a Gorillaz album cover with the main characters of Stranger Things? Nostalgiaz...
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/606600-nostalgiaz?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944

Communication is key to finding Will in the Upside Down. And one of the things the kids rely on is old school ham radios.
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/589709-hawkins-radio-club?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944
Back in the early 80s has D&D was considered evil and demonic. Something only nerds and devil worshippers played.  Today, it's a well received style of gaming and this tee mashes up the old school rule books with themes from the series.https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/636971-darkness-and-demogorgons?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944 

One of the breakout stars of Stranger Things, Millie Bobby Brown, got to go on her own self discovery trek in Season 2 and briefly fell in with some not-so-law-abiding citizens who gave her a makeover. This design taps into the 80s color scheme and slang to bring you this Bitchin tee!
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/2059125-bitchin?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944

Hopper is one of my favorite characters and David Harbour plays him perfectly.  His zen attitude about mornings coupled with the D&D theme of the show inspired me to do this one.
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/1694931-coffee-and-contemplation?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944
This design is another fantastic use of color and negative space to create a window into the realm of the normal world while trapped in the Upside Down.
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/1970365-upside-down?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944
I love this design. It's simple and plays the duality of the Normal World and Upside Down very well.  It shows a lot of creativity while only using three colors.
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/735140-looking-for-the-upside-down?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944
This design is straight up 80s screen print nostalgia.  You can almost smell the old style iron on method of making shirts back then.  It's got everything; faded look, Cooper Std Typeface, and those lines scream "Wear me with 80s sport shorts!"
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/2048704-hawkins-middle-school-av-club?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944
What looks like a standard 80s style athletic number shirt holds so much more.  There's great use of the duality of the Normal World and The Upside Down contained in very little space along with great use of shading between two colors, Gold and Silver.
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/705681-strange-number-11-gold-silver?ref_id=2081&ref_type=aff&store_id=1944